The Gift of Presence

The Moment

Gunner has never cared how full my calendar is.

He does not care how many emails are waiting, what problem I am trying to solve, or what presentation I need to finish.

When it is time for a walk, he is ready for the walk.

Not half of it.

Not a distracted version of it.

The whole experience.

There have been plenty of times when I have physically been beside him while mentally being somewhere else. I am thinking three steps ahead, working through a problem, or reaching for my phone.

Gunner notices.

Dogs have an extraordinary ability to tell when we are there—and when we are merely nearby.

And gradually, he taught me one of the simplest leadership lessons I know:

Presence is something we give.

The Leadership Lesson

We talk frequently about giving people our time.

But time and attention are not the same thing.

You can sit through an entire meeting without truly listening. You can conduct a one-on-one while thinking about your next appointment. You can ask someone how they are doing and already be preparing your response before they finish answering.

Technically, you were there.

But people know the difference.

Presence communicates something powerful:

You matter enough for me to pay attention.

And attention builds trust.

It helps us hear what was not said. Notice hesitation. Recognize a change in behavior. Catch an emerging problem before it becomes a crisis.

Some of leadership’s most important information rarely arrives in a report.

You notice it because you were paying attention.

On the Trail

Try something simple.

The next time someone comes to you with an issue, resist the urge to immediately solve it.

Put down the phone.

Stop typing.

Look at them.

Listen all the way through.

Ask one more question before offering an answer.

You may discover that what they initially said was not actually what they needed you to hear.

Presence does not require more hours in the day.

It requires deciding where your attention belongs during the hours you already have.

Gunner reminds me of that every time he waits for me to stop rushing through the walk and actually join him on it.

Trail Question

When your team has your time, do they also have your attention?